Herban Sprawl

This one is dedicated to Kay Shannon, whose lack of sleep from her blog addiction is a testament to just exactly how outraged thinking American women are at McCain’s Red Herring from Alaska.

Today I received an email from another Kay, a feisty and with it grandma in her 70s. It had to do with the blog Women Against Sarah Palin.

http://womenagainstsarahpalin.blogspot.com/

I read the testimonies and rants of women from all over the country and I was awestruck at the common theme: let that woman anywhere near the White House and there goes everything our mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers fought for. So I am not alone and I am grateful because I was beginning to feel like a one-topic writer, here.

The bottom line is that McCain has succeeded in taking the attention off his own ineptitude and focused it on a red herring named Sarah. The blubbering old fool can’t compete with Barack Obama for smarts and the Obama juggernaut was getting scary to the pocketbooks of the very rich Republicans who needed McCain to find a way to appeal to that vast swath of white American males who think with their dicks. All those out-of-work, foreclosure-threatened family men were likely to start listening to the man with the message that said, “Guys, I get it and I want to help.”

This had nothing to do with attracting the Hillary vote – just read that blog and you will know what I do – American women know what’s at stake and they aren’t about to cede their rights to a pistol-packin’ beauty queen from a Podunk town in sparsely populated Alaska, for gawd’s sake. I think even John McCain’s advisors knew that. The Republican women who supported Hillary Clinton were intelligent and well educated, i.e. not easily fooled. The Republican women who say they supported Hillary, but have returned to the party-that-is-really-really-threatened-by-women, weren’t going to pull that lever for her – who do they think they’re kidding?

This had everything to do with drawing Obama off message. Deflection of the highest order, if you will – So, the Grand Old (emphasis on the word OLD) Party brought in a babe to get the juices running, and every dickhead – (Did I really say that? Yes, I did and I meant it, too!) is grinning sheepishly and thinking to himself, “Oh, yeah, lemme at ‘er. Let’s go huntin’, Sweet Thang.”

Here is my challenge to my men friends and family, most of whom are guilty as hell of engaging in the above sort of mental masturbation: she ain’t Barbie Benton, boys. She’d be a heart attack away from running your country. You know in your heart of hearts you can’t vote for McCain because at the end of the day, you know he’s another train wreck waiting in the wings. Let me see you putting Obama stickers on your cars. Let me see you support the women in your lives in a way that will mean far more than a bouquet of roses. (Notice I didn’t say chocolate –) Let me see you standing up for us in a way that shows the world how much you value the women in your life. And after that, when the dickheads razz you, let me hear you say, “I loved looking at Barbie Benton, but that doesn’t mean she’s qualified to run for Vice President. And if she isn’t qualified, why are we even having this conversation? Isn’t your portfolio flat enough, yet? Haven’t we had to bail out enough banks? Isn’t it time to zip our pants and protect our women from men who have so little respect for them that they’d pull a political stunt like this?”

Come on, guys. Do it for us. Please?