Herban Sprawl

The other day I received an unusual email. To tell the truth, I don’t check my Herban Sprawl email very often. Most of the people that have something to say to me are people who know me and use my personal email address. Copiously! So to find a message was a surprise, but imagine my shock when the person asked if I would be interested in selling my domain name!

The people who know me well will be “ROTFLTheirAO,” because they participated in a contest to help name the blog, and among them, they know this is the title I really wanted. I was running a marketing test, as it were – But it made perfect sense. An herb enthusiast (some few would call me an herbalist, but I kind of cringe because I am no Rosemary Gladstar) with an eclectic range of interests, I’ve been writing in journals and for myself for most of my life. I can thank my dearly departed mother for my insistence on the use of commas, but I must apologize to her for my lack of pithiness. On the other hand that’s what got me into trouble with the query.

I was so taken aback that I responded rather directly, in my 40° below zero-get-back-inside-before-you-freeze-to-death-out-here Midwestern way. This is as opposed to my chat-for-an-hour-learning-the-family-lineage-and-full-life-story Southern way. The person asking was offended and responded that I had been terse. (Mom! I was pithy – finally!)

People come up with interesting names for their blogs. They also put a lot of time and effort into them. While Doonesbury’s Rick may rail about the plethora of narcissists on the ether waves, as it were, the fact is, it’s communication, and it’s what ties human beings together. When I sit down to write, I often have no idea what is going to come out. I try valiantly to keep my posts to a certain word length, and if anyone is counting, they can see a pattern of obsessive-compulsive numbers, regardless of a “terse” piece or a run-away-with-the-typing piece.

Clarice will call, after having enjoyed a few cocktails, and gush about whatever it is I have written. I don’t dismiss him because he’s my flagpole reader. You know the old saying, ‘run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes.’ I take about 20% of the gushing as helpful and chalk the rest of it up to The Brothers Smirnoff, which will cause him to barrel over here in the Cadillac and threaten to take back Sal and turn the cats against me. But the truth is, that 20% tells me if I’ve been hitting my points. (Hopefully, one of these days he will tell me when I have been way the hell off! Then I will know it isn’t just because he loves me!)

As I reflected on my refusal to part with my domain name, I know I need to do something with the web page that goes with it. Thanks in part to my tutoring gig, I need to recertify as a licensed schoolmarm, and one of the classes I thought I’d take will teach me the tools I need for building my web page. But, as I told the person who’d like my domain name, it hasn’t been a priority. I’m still reluctant to identify myself in public like that. After all, the white supremacist is behind bars for the time being, but his brotherhood will be scanning the internet looking for dirt on those who would smear him. All I need is for one of them to read my website and start trouble. (You just can’t be a closet liberal if you’re going to be on the internet!)

This brings me back to something I promised readers way back when – the topics would sprawl around. I hope I have achieved that, in spite of the persistent crabbing about Saracuda of late. As soon as the election is over, sometime next spring?, I promise to get back to the benign ranting of yore.

Example: have any of you been wiping your eyes after reading Sally Forth lately? I have. It’s been touching and I will admit to watering down my espresso over it. Likewise, I know that Funky has to deal with Cory and his acting out. Life isn’t right if I haven’t started my day with the newspaper.

Lastly, we’ve had some frost here, which nailed the fruit sage and made it ugly. But the bright red of the pineapple sage is astonishing against the yellowing backdrop of the rest of the garden. I need to get out there and harvest the hot peppers, and I also need to clean up the herbs. Yesterday I chopped together rosemary (lots) and garlic (6 cloves) and rolled a little pork loin in it. What I did differently was inspired by some very large Bergartten sage leaves that were beckoning to me. I made a bed of those on the bottom of the baking dish and set the rosemary/garlic encrusted roast on top of them. Different bites of the roast put flavors in different parts of the mouth. Fascinating!

Simon sez, “When are you going to write about me? You covered Barney and Charlie and everyone knows I’m the most important cat around here.”  Soon, my feline son, soon. Just get over this idea you are most important because I love each of you the same, and like it or not, Salvatore da Betta figures in this family, too. Besides, as I have told you over and over, the Alpha Cat in this household is the one with two legs and a pair of Kleins in his hand, not any of you! Meow.