Herban Sprawl

It all started out innocently enough. Sal daBettafisha had shed some weird looking piece of skin that was settled on the bottom of his vase. When I cleaned it, I saved the hunk and went to the net to see what kind of thing had happened to him.

I wasn’t able to find anything about what it means when a betta fish molts, but I did learn that his wonderful vase wasn’t the healthiest environment. The more I read, the more concerned I became.

It has taken a long time for that stupid peace lily to amount to anything, and it was after I had decorated the vase for the holidays with glass scatters from the Lilian Vernon catalog that Sal’s predecessor, Bud, developed a tumor on his gill and bought the ranch. I have viewed the Chinese made scatters with suspicion ever since. Sal hasn’t had his apartment decorated. He just gets a holiday bow on the narrow part of the vase.

So the information I got led me to believe that if we were any kind of humane and decent people, we would provide our beautiful little guy with a better, healthier home. I began scouting the internet for possible aquariums. The one I loved was the biOrb, but it was mighty pricey. The reviews also said the lightbulbs cost a king’s ransom, and that they were a bit tough to clean. My hands are big, but not so much that I can’t get into tight places for sanitation purposes. I kept looking.

I was on the north end of town and needed a Best Buy run to return some crummy earbuds and decided to drop by their neighbor, PetSmart to see what they had in stock. I didn’t know I’d be walking into a sale on desktop aquariums, and that my handy little frequent shopper card would net a little more off, as well. I bit. I came home with a Baby biOrb and a package of small “easy plants.”

Thanks to my net reading, I ran pieces of panty hose over the greenery and knew it would tear the devil out of Sal’s fluffy fins. My first job was to pull out my tiny razor sharp scissors and to trim those puppies. I kept running the stocking over my cuts and kept checking to see if he could swim through the grass without getting snagged. When I was finally sure he wasn’t going to swim through or by them without turning into a ragbag, I started getting the thing ready for moving day.

Last night was the night. Big Kitty, a quick hand with the net, snagged Sal and slipped him into his new McMansion. He had already been fed supper, so he had only to swim around and check it out. Clearly he was stymied, but he is also a pretty curious guy, so he did a once-around-the-orb kind of thing and then hung out near the front, looking at us with fishy confusion. “What the hell is this place? Where are my slimy roots? And why did you do this to me?”

You know you’ve lost your mind when you start discussing the attributes of the aquarium to a fish.

We checked on him a lot. He didn’t seem to like the fake plants. I kept telling him I had trimmed them and they were snag free, but he was shunning them. I don’t blame him. They lack the appeal of live roots. When we came to the bowl, he would look out at us, never poufing and not showing any attitude. This was worrisome. A betta without attitude is reason for concern.

He seems to like it better when the light is on, so I pull the thing out to where it can catch more daylight, without any direct sun. (The bulbs are outrageous!) I also gave him a snack, which he ignored.

Tonight marks the 24 hour trial period I had in mind. He’s still not showing attitude, but perhaps it’s because he’s in the kitchen. His attitude spot is atop a barrister bookshelf that puts him at should height. We don’t have an outlet there, or that’s where his new digs would have gone. Nevertheless, I am still worried about him. All the net articles made it sound like he’d be in heaven to have 4 gallons of space, so I can only conclude he’s still trying to adjust.

Who knew this would turn into another source of obsessive worry?! All this for a fish? Yeah. All this for a fish. Sal’s family. He’s never been as feisty as Bud, but he’s had his moments, and he really is pretty - red with lavender shimmer. Now to figure out what to do with a hydroponic peace lily.