Herban Sprawl

Yesterday I dropped by The Fresh Market for some meatloaf blend and was surprised to see a huge number of men scurrying through the store, cradling bouquets and being picky over all manner of edible treats. It was almost like Christmas Eve when those of you with that certain chromosome do your shopping! But the surprise was that it was ahead of time!

Maybe they’ve been reading the paper. The editors and writers have placed a huge emphasis on this particular Hallmark holiday as being crucial to the success of a relationship. I dunno. I see it as another boondoggle like Mothers’ Day, that sacrosanct “holiday” for mommies.

I got into huge trouble with my spouse the year he had long-stemmed red roses sent to me at work. I realize I am in the minority here, but having worked for a florist, I can tell you they ain’t worth it, and since I don’t like them anyway, I was absolutely crushed that he would send such a horrible thing. It turned out he was listening to his mother.

Is it any surprise that he has only sent flowers once since then? Even though he knows I adore fluffy, fragrant carnations?  Ah, well. The thing is, the cost of flowers is inflated this week, so I wouldn’t fault some common sense.

The real question is, will not doing something outrageously romantic on Valentine’s Day become a deal-breaker in a relationship? The short answer is that it will become a contributing factor. If there is any kind of disturbance, neglect on Valentine’s Day is certain to be noted on the Con List, and unfortunately, these things tend to add up. A cute card isn’t enough. Red roses for a red rose disliker won’t cut it. An appliance (unless it is so unbelievably fabulous) is off-the-charts stupid.

That said, my mother-in-law is also shocked and dismayed that I don’t get all excited about this so-called holiday. You know, you can’t change your mate. Mine is a Swede from word go. It’s not all of his ethnic heritage, but it’s the one that has shaped him emotionally. She’s never understood that about him (or his father) because she has had no yardstick for understanding The Swede Way. Rather than try to turn him into a hopeless romantic, a trait we Italians have in spades, I prefer to accept that I’m not likely to see a huge demonstration on a Hallmark Holiday. My life is a lot less stressful that way.

So if Big Kitty comes home empty-handed today, will I be upset? Nope. Will that transgression go onto the Con List, awaiting a melt-down some other time? Maybe. Will I do something outrageously romantic for him? Um, if you count buying him a pint of his favorite sorbet and a six pack of Guinness or cream stout.

All things are relative~  Don’t have such high expectations that the slightest variation will send you into a tailspin. Enjoy the day and go with the flow~