Herban Sprawl

27 April 2008
The Big Kitty underwent what can only be described as a religious conversion. Today, the day after his birthday, when he was pooped to the bone because he’s on call and had to go out at two in the morning, and then again around ten, I gave him a great lunch treat. I made him Chicago dogs with his Christmas hot dog set.

Here in the Star City, people wax brilliantly about the Wiener Stand. When I first moved here, that’s all I heard about so one Saturday I wandered in and had a hot dog. It was the worst hot dog I had ever eaten in my life! It had this greasy stuff that they called chili on it and, well, ick. So that’s the kind of dog my most beloved grew up eating.

My own religious conversion to the Chicago Dog came when I moved to Chicago back in the seventies. The roach coaches that parked near the Regenstein Library on the University of Chicago campus and Maurie’s on 55^th Street were my dog joints. To be sure, Lil Linda always favored the David Bergs over the Vienna Red Hots, but I didn’t care. The treatment was the same.

So the first time Big Kitty was in the Windy City, I hauled him into a dog joint and that’s all she wrote. It is now his dog of choice. To be sure, he will eat those obnoxious things served up locally, especially when the supply houses offer free lunch, but if you gave him a choice, he’d worship at the shrine of the Chicago Dog.

I had tried, in vain, to buy the green relish and sport peppers at the grocery store in Chicago. I guess there is no need since Chicagoans have hot dog stands all over the place. But the good people at Vienna will take care of you, my friend. You can go online and order everything from your Vienna wardrobe to posters, hot dogs to condiments. It’s great! In fact, condiments were all I had planned to order when I saw the complete kit – including the Plochman’s yellow mustard and a little thing of celery salt. (Personally, I skip the celery salt.)

Last week I was thrilled to discover that The Fresh Market had Vienna all-beef products in the case. This is good because now all I need to order is the emerald green relish and sport peppers from those good people at Vienna. Big Kitty’s hot dog kit included a lotta dogs, and two big packages of Carl Rosen buns. Now the buns are integral, but for a guy who might need to take a random drug test, they can be passed on as they are sprinkled with poppy seeds. Three dogs and three buns could create a little reading. So, when we use up the Rosens, we’ll switch to Pepperidge Farm, just to be on the safe side.

What a nice thing for Sunday – a deviled egg, Chicago Dog, and thou!