It’s been a tragic week. There is no other way to say it. We’re still reeling from the gravity and enormity of the circumstances, and for now, there is not one darn thing we can do to ameliorate the situation. There is no way to do the story justice, but here goes.
In 2004, two friends returned home from a Super Bowl party. The one with MS made her way into their home at her pace. The other went directly to the bathroom, where she was coshed on the head and rendered unconscious. When she came to, she discovered her partner had been shot to death.
The knocked out woman owned a handgun, and it was missing from the premises. When the police came, they didn’t take the injured woman to the hospital for treatment. Instead, they attempted to interrogate her at the police station. She didn’t have any powder residue on her.
By now, if you are a savvy reader, you have correctly surmised this was a lesbian couple. They had been together for around nine years, and the relationship was a strong one. They were the kind that would have gotten married legally, if permitted to do so. The outpouring of love and support was enormous. Big Kitty and I traveled to Greensboro for the memorial service, and it was an emotional thing for us.
Kate had been the little sister in Big Kitty’s extended family. He had carted her and her friends to a bunch of Liberal Religious Youth get-togethers in her mom’s old Volvo stationwagon. This was the crazy, semi-functional/semi-dysfunctional family that took him in as readily as they did any other stray cat. When I came along, I was just another cat to be fed, and it was home for me, too.
We were the first members of this tribe to meet Sharon. Sharon was shy and nervous, but Kate was smart. She knew we were the easiest of the easy, and all would be well. Sharon was wonderful. She could be serious when necessary, and had a playful streak a mile wide. She became a devoted aunt to Kate’s nieces and nephews, and was deeply loved in return. Her death was not easily accepted by any of us, and its violence was one we had a great deal of difficulty comprehending.
Sharon had been plagued with multiple sclerosis, and at the time of her death, often needed to use a motorized wheelchair to get around. She tried hard to manage without it, but would grudgingly give in when Kate would insist. The disease was clearly taking its toll on her body, but both partners bore it with amazing grace. Neither was the type to whine and cry. Both were stiff upper lip kind of women. They managed, and they loved each other in spite of it all.
Not long after Sharon’s memorial service, another woman came into Kate’s life. A little too soon, perhaps, but when I think of the number of men who have remarried within a year of a spouse’s death, I can’t think that this was much different. Suddenly the police have seized upon this as ‘probable cause.’ You know, Sharon was sick, so let’s kill her and we can get together.
Good grief. As motives go, that one is pretty thin. It is also rather specious in light of the fact that these were lesbians. Could the police have been any more blatant in their prejudice?
Meanwhile, Sharon’s family sued Kate and her now-partner, Kim. Well, not before they kindly offered to not sue if Kate would just hand over what they deemed to be their fair share of Sharon’s estate (as in all of it).
It was no secret that Sharon’s family did not like the idea that she was a lesbian. It went against their religious beliefs and they had a lot of trouble reconciling it. One brother was openly hostile. This can be the case for families, and Dear Abby would advise them to turn to PFLAG for help. I don’t know what they did, but I vividly remember how out of place they appeared to feel at the memorial service in a Unitarian Universalist church where their daughter was a beloved member.
And so, five years later, after living in the same house and going to the same job, the police decided they now had incontrovertible evidence that our Kate was the perpetrator of Sharon’s untimely demise. They went to her workplace last week and arrested her. They have charged her with capital murder.
Kate’s mother, who is in the middle of a divorce, now has to raise $25,000 as an upfront fee for an attorney. Needless to say, friends are creating a legal defense fund. And, because she is not allowed her own personal effects, such as a sports bra or toothpaste, a commissary fund has had to be set up so she can purchase what she already has. You know, it isn’t like they can’t run those things through an xray machine to make sure there is nothing in them that could harm herself or another inmate or guard. But no. Our criminal justice system doesn’t work that way.
In our household, devastation has given way to anger and frustration. There is no small amount of injustice in this situation. If this had been a heterosexual couple I have no doubt it would have been handled differently. Instead, this case is already being tried in the press as the local newspapers in North Carolina focus on as much sensationalism as they can manufacture. The responses in their online versions are mean-spirited and convey the kind of prejudice and hatred that only narrow-minded and repressed people can manage to spew. How fair a trial can she expect under these circumstances?
In our nation, one is considered innocent until found guilty by a jury of one’s peers. Will her jury have even one gay or lesbian person? We’re talking peers, here, and those would be her peers. The accused is not a Christian, but rather a devout and active Unitarian Universalist. Since those of our faith are rarely understood in religious terms, will that work against her, too?
I have no answers. Only questions. I have beliefs, though, and one of those is the unshakable belief in Kate. Luckily, I am not alone, because in the days ahead, we will calling upon all who are out there asking, “what can I do?” to contribute whatever amount possible to her defense fund. We have to insure she has excellent representation in order to keep this trial as fair as possible. There are some prejudices we will never overcome, but we have to stand by her and show the world that when you love someone, you do what needs to be done - with love, in love and alongside love.
Those of you who are so inclined, are now cordially invited to say prayers for justice, and in the name of whatever deity you choose. We Unitarian Universalists gratefully accept all prayers that are said on our behalf, and this woman is going to need a steady stream of them.